That’s right! It’s my final year of the MA, which means that in just about nine months, I am going to give birth to a fully-formed Master’s thesis!
Of course, this happy event – celebrated, as I understand it, by a roomful of my colleagues asking pointed questions about my little bundle of joy followed by a traditional ceremony in which I defeat a snake in single combat – is only the end point of a long and arduous process. I will, no doubt, become noticeably crabby, press family members into running bizarre 2 a.m. ice cream errands for me, and
begin to continue to eschew pants.
And, while I currently expect no problems with carrying my little dearest to term, I recognize that certain events – illness, demanding students, baffled advisors – may result in my production not of a thesis, but of a misshapen little creature, like a sestina. (I am writing about changelings, after all.) I am determined to love it nonetheless. After all, I’m going to be a mother!
So much excitement! So many questions! How many pages will my newborn thesis run? Will it prefer Times New Roman or Garamond? What will it grow up to be – a dissertation chapter, an article, a book? What sex will it be? (My fellow MA students say they don’t care, as long as it’s healthy. But what if my thesis requires extensive revision?)
I need to start polling my thesis-parent friends immediately. How do they deal with sleep deprivation when the thesis’s bibliography simply refuses to format correctly? Does thesis-wearing really help improve the transitions between sections, and if so, is a wrap or a backpack better? Spanking the bibliography to “train” correct formatting: yes or no? Do vaccines really cause logical fallacies and illegible subheadings, or is that just an urban myth?
Because we only just found out about my thesis-idea-conception, I don’t have much to show for it yet. I’ve only expanded by the width of a few sheets of scribbled notes, and while I think I can see a difference, my husband says nobody else can. But I ran to the library to check out twenty pounds of books on the subject anyway. Pics to come! I can’t wait!