We’re Expecting…A Thesis!

That’s right!  It’s my final year of the MA, which means that in just about nine months, I am going to give birth to a fully-formed Master’s thesis!

Of course, this happy event – celebrated, as I understand it, by a roomful of my colleagues asking pointed questions about my little bundle of joy followed by a traditional ceremony in which I defeat a snake in single combat – is only the end point of a long and arduous process.  I will, no doubt, become noticeably crabby, press family members into running bizarre 2 a.m. ice cream errands for me, and begin to continue to eschew pants.  

And, while I currently expect no problems with carrying my little dearest to term, I recognize that certain events – illness, demanding students, baffled advisors – may result in my production not of a thesis, but of a misshapen little creature, like a sestina.  (I am writing about changelings, after all.)  I am determined to love it nonetheless.  After all, I’m going to be a mother!

So much excitement!  So many questions!  How many pages will my newborn thesis run?  Will it prefer Times New Roman or Garamond?  What will it grow up to be – a dissertation chapter, an article, a book?  What sex will it be?  (My fellow MA students say they don’t care, as long as it’s healthy.  But what if my thesis requires extensive revision?)

I need to start polling my thesis-parent friends immediately.  How do they deal with sleep deprivation when the thesis’s bibliography simply refuses to format correctly?  Does thesis-wearing really help improve the transitions between sections, and if so, is a wrap or a backpack better?  Spanking the bibliography to “train” correct formatting: yes or no?  Do vaccines really cause logical fallacies and illegible subheadings, or is that just an urban myth?

Because we only just found out about my thesis-idea-conception, I don’t have much to show for it yet.  I’ve only expanded by the width of a few sheets of scribbled notes, and while I think I can see a difference, my husband says nobody else can.  But I ran to the library to check out twenty pounds of books on the subject anyway.  Pics to come!  I can’t wait!

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About Dani Alexis

Dani Alexis is the Legal Coordinator at Autonomous Press as well as a freelance writer. When she's not working, she coaches winterguard and waits on the whims of two spoiled cats. Check out her most recent work by subscribing to her Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/noncompliantspace.
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One Response to We’re Expecting…A Thesis!

  1. Carol Sobish says:

    Congratulations Dani! I will wait patiencely for the new arrival. Sure you will do this with great feat and finesse as you have done in all your endeavors. Love Aunt Carol

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