satire, fiction and humor, the creative process

Christmas Carols Nobody Asked for, Vol. 6: Hollering Christmas Home

(For an explanation of this project and links to previous volumes, see the master list.)

The vast majority of Christmas carols played on the radio today were originally recorded in the 1940s, 50s and 60s. In other words, the carols that Gen X, Millennials and now Gen Z are growing up with are the ones that give Baby Boomers a case of the nostalgias.

That’s slowly changing – notice how Mariah Carey, Wham! and Michael Buble are sneaking onto the charts – but we’re still subjected to a disproportionate number of songs each Christmas season that are still played solely so Boomers can feel feelings.

In their honor, I decided to write a carol in the 1940s-1960s carol tradition: Flowy, nostalgic, heavy on the random minor piano chords, and basically lacking in artistic quality.

As always, Botnik’s predictive text keyboard provided the lyrics, and I composed the tune in Noteflight.

Hollering Christmas Home

My heart wrapped up in ribbon,
Will touch my arms again,
I’ll miss this starry kickback
in June when I think twice.

Give more snow to spend
on tinkle tunes again,
holding everybody
by the fire.

Making lists,
Buying all,
Underneath the children,
Hollering Christmas home.

Here’s the score [pdf].

Here’s the audio file [mp3].