satire, fiction and humor

Christmas Carols Nobody Asked For, Vol. 9: Merry Christmas Baby (The Krampus Song)

(For an explanation of this project and links to previous volumes, see the Master List.)

Christmas is full of carols for children. Many of these were written explicitly for children – for instance, “Jolly Old St. Nicholas” and “Frosty the Snowman.” Some weren’t, but have become heavily associated with children over time, like “Away in a Manger.”

What most of these carols have in common is their mind-numbing simplicity and lyrics that perhaps made sense 150 years ago but certainly do not today.

Here’s what happened when I asked Botnik to write lyrics for a children’s carol. Mind-numbingly simple tune is by me.

Social media image featuring blue snowflakes on which background and the title of this post.

Merry Christmas Baby (The Krampus Song)

Merry Christmas baby,
Everything is love,
Krampus comes and rolls me
Underneath the doves.
Merry Christmas baby,
Sure did treat me nice,
Christmas time is simply
Candy canes and ice.

The score is here [pdf].

The audio file is here [mp3].

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