satire, fiction and humor

Bad Carols, S2E5: My Troubles Will Teach Me Love

(For an overview of the Bad Carols project, click here. Previous episodes this season: E1E2E3, E4.)

At some point in the last ten years or so, radio stations started trying to round out the annual rotation of Christmas music by adding songs that aren’t really Christmas songs, but that mention snow or use the word “Christmas” in passing. I’m thinking of songs like Wham!’s “Last Christmas” (a year-round tune when I was a wee one growing up in the Wham! era) or Dan Fogleburg’s “Same Old Lang Syne,” a song that has nothing to do with Christmas at all except that the story happens on Christmas Eve.

“Pop song that’s not really about Christmas but is a Christmas tune now” has been a sorely overlooked genre in the Bad Carols series to date. This song aims to correct that problem.

As always, lyrics are by Botnik; music is by me.

Score is here [pdf].
Audio file is here [mp3].

My Troubles Will Teach Me Love

Inside my heart, but underneath
The sadness that I feel
Your Christmas sweater looks so ugly
I cry for you.

Chorus: My troubles will teach me love
For my neighbor’s washing machine.
Can I tell you right up front
Your sweater saddens me?