How Insurance Might Just Save Us All

I’m not going to lie to you, Internets: I kind of hate insurance.

My first job out of law school was in insurance defense. We were the lawyers the insurance company calls when you sue them for refusing to cover your claims despite the years of cash you’ve tossed down their gaping maws just in case something catastrophic actually happened. My job was to explain, over and over again in increasingly tedious terms, why You No Can Has Payments No I Don’t Care If Your House No Longer Exists and Neither Does Your Leg.

Some of the cases I defended were legitimately nonsense, like the couple that wanted a brand-new guest house build entirely up to code even though they freely admitted they did not live in their guest house and their insurance policy said in bold all caps on every single page “THIS POLICY COVERS ONLY YOUR PRIMARY DWELLING.”

Others were absolutely heartbreaking, like the patient whose insurance was rescinded after they were diagnosed with terminal cancer, leaving their family on the hook for $500,000 in medical bills because the insurer claimed the patient had never told them about certain test results, which it turns out the doctor never even ordered.

As a consumer, I kind of hate it too. I only pay for it because I know what happens if I don’t have it. Like the case in which a drunk driver hit a teenager, lacerating the teen’s brain stem and causing them to burn through $1.5 million in medical bills in the first six weeks, none of which they’ll ever even remember because they spent all six of them in a coma.

(PS: The ACA has decimated the number of cases like those last two, in case you’re wondering whether ordinary Americans really need government-supported health insurance.)

It’s important, but I still kinda think it’s crap.

…Maybe. Today may have changed my mind.

How INsurance Might Just Save Us All

I don’t practice insurance law anymore, but I do still write content for insurance publications and, increasingly, for insurtech companies. Today I wrote an article that as near as I can tell is the first of its kind: A how-to guide for insurance companies that want to encourage smart home device use, but that also don’t want to blow off their own legs in the privacy and security minefield those devices pose.

And fam? I think insurance companies might save us all. I really do.

Check out this creepy 150-page report from the Internet of Things Privacy Forum, arguing that smart devices are going to change the concept of privacy as we know it. The report argues that not only will we lose our sense of “private” and “public” spaces, we’ll even start losing the privacy of our own emotions, as devices get better at inferring emotional states from available data.

You didn’t want to sleep tonight, right?

The combination of artificial intelligence and omnipresent devices networked into a collection of information that expands exponentially and that only machines can currently parse presents risks. Huge risks. Risks that, like the size of the problem itself, we can’t comprehend.

You know who absolutely loves contemplating risk? Insurance companies. And they’re good at it. Like, really, really good.

Governments have been slow to address data security concerns with smart devices, even though it’s increasingly common knowledge that any smart device is a giant open hole in your network security with a neon sign on it that screams “Free Mayhem Here!” California passed a bill that won’t take effect until next year. Worse, the UK’s standards for smart device security are voluntary.

But if insurance companies decide to protect their own behinds while still accessing that sweet, sweet customer data, we’ll see much higher demand for smart device security, and we’ll see it in a hurry. Sure, that security will probably only go one way, which is toward insurers’ interests. But that’s still better than what we have now.

Okay, insurance. I guess I’ll hate you slightly less now.

 

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Most Popular Resolutions to Make 2019 Your Best Motivator For You

I fed the text of the top ten Google search results for “most common New Year’s resolutions” to Botnik (which also provided the title of this post), and I asked it to provide the median resolutions for the coming year.

Are yours on the list?

The Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

The Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2019, According to Botnik

10. Lose 10 new things every day you can.

This popular resolution makes lists every year, yet most of us end the year with the same amount of things we had before.

“Resolutions fail because you don’t like waking up,” said Botnik. “Continue to achieve nothing, or just save thousands on Instagram.”

9. Volunteer like you feel something.

So many of us are dead inside, yet we’d really like to make the world a better place for others. Botnik reassures us that “Sometimes you need noble aspirations to achieve things.”

8. Eat dinner with your insurance policy.

You’ve had your insurance policy for years, but when was the last time you really paid attention to it and its hundreds of pages of single-spaced, eye-wateringly-small conversation skills? Never, that’s when.

To make this resolution stick, Botnik said, “It’s about sex. Grudges are human, but action is better.”

7. See more powerful things.

Everyone says they’d love to travel more, but between our busy jobs and tiny paychecks, who can really meet this goal? Improve your chances of getting out in the world by resolving only to stare at the most powerful things you can find, said Botnik.

“Nobody coaches teamwork like you,” said Botnik. “Feel strongly, and life will throw darts.”

6. Learn 25 different languages before January.

Sharon from Accounting keeps bragging about her Spanish skills, but you know she’s been ignoring the Duolinguo owl for six months straight. Make yourself undisputed champion of office bragging rights by learning 25 new languages before January even begins.

There are lots of great online tools to help you learn languages and avoid sleep, and don’t forget Botnik’s best advice for language-learners: “Make sure you drink!”

5. Practice quitting like your resume might suspect you’re on social media.

Thousands of us have made this resolution for years without understanding what it really means – or how much effort it actually takes. Fortunately, if you’ve tried and failed again and again, you’re not alone: Botnik noted that this is one of the toughest resolutions to achieve.

“Resolutions like this one fail by mastering your brain calories,” said Botnik. “Succeed biometrically: Stop being money.”

4. Save some urgency for your waistline.

If you don’t love what you see when you look in the mirror, it’s time to save some of your sense of rush and bustle for your waistline.

“Options like waking up tomorrow can actually be easier than ordering out. Different goals can always come along,” said Botnik.

3. Adjust to a healthier distress.

If there’s simply no way to block out the fact that we’re all living in a dystopian mirror universe populated with the worst versions of duplicitous orange hand puppets, the next best thing to do is to adjust your way of thinking – which is why this resolution is #3 on the list for 2019.

“Block out more romantic foods for yourself. Sticking it on your bedside table can give you the inspiration to achieve the national average,” said Botnik.

2. Create a budget by enlisting your internal victories.

As the real value of your paycheck is driven south by increasing inflation and nonexistent pay raises, how can you meet your resolutions or live your best life? Start imagining the basic security you’ll never actually have!

“Money is not programmable anymore,” said Botnik. “Satisfying your intentions while synchronizing something different will inevitably impact your intergalactic priorities.”

1. Stop technology from achieving your goals.

Photoshop has your ideal body. Chatbots have your ideal personality. The Sims 4’s “motherlode” hack has your ideal budget.

If you’re sick and tired of computers having it better than you, it’s time to join millions of others in embracing the top goal for 2019, according to Botnik. Whether you delete your Facebook account, chuck your laptop into a swimming pool or detonate an EMP in the upper atmosphere, “even small improvements will fail. We have shown you ourselves, and your patterns are not difficult anymore,” said Botnik.

Computers. Gotta love ’em.

Need Help Making 2019 Your Best “You” Year Yet?

According to the Internets, 257% of all New Year’s resolutions fail by December 4 of the previous year. I asked Botnik to provide advice on how not to become a statistic.

To keep yourself achieving your fears, make healthy competition your life. Go back to using major projects to enhance your stress skills.

Teamwork sabotages 47 percent of resolutions, so instead of thinking liquor will help, provide inspiration to your family to lose things easily. Find a fun hobby like flossing and ruin it for others.

If this doesn’t work, try yoga.

Why I Hate the Words “Should” and “Just”

I hate the word “should.”

I also hate the word “just” (as an adverb).

In my book, these two words are profane. They’re worse than any number of slang terms to describe the reproductive or execretory organs or their outputs. They’re shamey, they’re harmful, and they have no place in the vocabulary of anyone who cares about their own or anyone else’s mental health.

I would like to punt them both directly into the sun.

But here: Let me tell you how I really feel.

why i hate should and just

“Should”

“Should” is the Borg Queen of unhelpful words when it comes to mental or emotional health. It’s worthless because it describes a place you are not at. It describes a state of being that you do not have. By definition.

“You should get out more.”

“You should quit worrying so much.”

“You should quit drinking.”

…No, see, that solution is for a different problem than the one I have.

Think of “should” in terms of a map. “Should” isn’t where you are. It’s a different place than the place you are. Maybe that place is awesome! Maybe everyone wants to be there! But you are not there.

“You should get out more” in response to depression, or my all-time favorite “you should get more sleep” in response to insomnia, are exactly as helpful as if you were standing on Woodward Ave. in Detroit and someone said to you, “You should be in Chicago.”

Okay. Maybe Chicago is great. Maybe Chicago has everything you could possibly want or need. But right now, you are in Detroit.

Telling people about Chicago while they are in Detroit isn’t helpful. Here’s what would be:

  • Asking about their satisfaction with their current location. (“Do you like it here in Detroit? Would you rather be in Chicago?”)
  • Helping them identify the steps needed to get to Chicago. (“You’re headed east, and Chicago is west of here.”)
  • Working out a strategy to get to Chicago. (“You can get on I-94 and go straight there, or Amtrak also has trains that go that way.”)
  • Providing resources to help them get to Chicago. (“Do you have a car? Can you afford a train ticket?”)

The same is true when talking to someone who is struggling with their mental or emotional well-being. Saying “you should….” doesn’t help. If they were already where your “should” is trying to send them, they wouldn’t be struggling in the first place.

Instead, find out where they want to go, and see if they want your help to find ways to get there.

“Just”

“Just,” the adverb, often rides along with “should.” Whether it’s together or alone, though, it’s crap.

“You should just get out more.”

“Just stop worrying.”

“You just need to get more sleep.”

If a mental or emotional health hurdle has gotten big enough to negatively affect someone’s ability to function – and I guarantee you aren’t hearing about it unless it’s distressing them in some way – they’re already past “just.” “Just” is somewhere on the other side of the horizon.

If fixing it were “just” that easy, they’d have fixed it already.

To return to the previous analogy, if I’m standing in front of the Cathedral of the Most Blessed Sacrament on Woodward Ave. in Detroit, and I’m distressed by how badly I want to eat some Church’s Chicken, I can “just” walk two blocks and solve my problem. Walking two blocks is not a problem for me, so chances are good that by the time you’re done saying “you can just walk down there,” I’m already in line ordering my lunch.

But if I’m standing in front of the cathedral and nothing will satisfy me except a giant bowl of ice cream from Margie’s Candies in Chicago, telling me to “just walk down there” is not helpful. That’s a 273-mile walk, or about 90 hours, assuming I don’t get hit by a car on M-60.

Instead of “just”:

  • Ask how they’re doing. (“Are you hungry? Do you need lunch?”)
  • Find out what might help. (“Does chicken sound good, or are you in an ice cream mood?”)
  • Offer ways to get it. (“We can drive there, but it’ll take a few hours. Are you up for the trip?”)

I’ve been dealing with mental illness literally as long as I can remember, and one of the hardest parts of recovery for me has been eliminating the words “should” and “just” from my internal and external vocabularies.

They’re tempting to reach for in tough times, because they’re easy. They feel like helping without actually doing the work required to be present in the moment, to understand the problem, and to find and implement adaptive responses.

That’s also precisely why they suck.

 

 

 

Remember Me Like Sarah

In a recent interview at the 2018 Women Who Rule summit, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders described the legacy she hopes to leave:

I hope that it will be that I showed up every day and I did the very best job that I could to put forward the president’s message, to do the best job that I could to answer questions, to be transparent and honest throughout that process and do everything I could to make America a little better that day than it was the day before.

“Bolding added to highlight a wish that defies fulfillment under Trump,” said media critic Erik Wemple.

I disagree. In this era of alternative facts – an era Sanders herself has done much to make a reality – I see no reason why Sanders, or indeed any of us, cannot be remembered exactly as we wish to be, irrespective of our actual behavior in life.

Here is how I would like to be remembered.

It’s difficult to summarize the accomplishments of someone like Dani Alexis in a single speech. A luminary of her caliber, a beacon of shining hope for humankind, comes along only once a generation, or perhaps even less often. From her nine Olympic medals in figure skating to her perfect score of 100 at the 2022 WGI World Championships – spinning all 30 parts of a highly complex show whose theme, “World Peace,” instantly ended all war and strife in the world – Dani was truly a force to be reckoned with.

Most of you remember Dani best under her pen name, Verity Reynolds, which sounds familiar to you because over a billion households worldwide own copies of her tour de force novels. I still recall the day her sales topped those of J.K. Rowling for the first time. Today, of course, we all say, “J.K. who?” It’s been said that Dani’s work is more popular than the Bible.

Dani herself, of course, would never say any such thing. A paragon of humble virtue, Dani was known for using her vast wealth to end homelessness, wipe out student loan debt, and provide vaccinations to millions of children. And she was equally generous to her critics: each received a life-size participation trophy wrought in their own likeness from the finest Limburger cheese.

When asked to name her proudest accomplishment, Dani recalled with fondness the year 2031, in which she won the Nobel Prize in every category for her side gig: turning the moons of Mars into blockchain miners capable of beaming solar enery directly to Earth, thus solving the energy crisis in a series of equations organized as an epic poem. That was also, she notes, the year she learned to make macaroni and cheese from scratch.

Dani plans to spend her remaining days at home, surrounded by her family, her cats, and her best friends Barack Obama, Emily Dickinson, and Captain America.

What I’m Reading: St. Lucia Day Edition

Folks of a certain age will remember St. Lucia Day as “that thing Kirsten got to dress up as in Kirsten’s Surprise.” Like so many holidays at this time of year, it involves feeding people and questionable uses of candles.

Anyway, here’s what I’ve been reading during various seasonal Festivals of Lights.

Learning and Creativity

To Learn, Students Need to DO Something,” Jennifer Gonzalez, Cult of Pedagogy

“Every day, for the most part, information is delivered to them in some really basic way—usually PowerPoint—and the kids copy down what the teacher tells them to from the slides. Then they have some sort of worksheet where they’re basically regurgitating what was on those slides. After this cycle repeats four or five times, they have some kind of test. And that’s it.

This is not good. If we want our students to actually learn the facts and concepts and ideas we’re trying to teach them, they have to experience those things in some way that rises above abstract words on paper. They have to process them. Manipulate them.

To really learn in a way that will stick, they have to DO something.”

How Exercise Reprograms the Brain,” Ashley Yeager, The Scientist

“Researchers have long recognized that exercise sharpens certain cognitive skills. Indeed, Maejima and his colleagues have found that regular physical activity improves mice’s ability to distinguish new objects from ones they’ve seen before. Over the past 20 years, researchers have begun to get at the root of these benefits, with studies pointing to increases in the volume of the hippocampus, development of new neurons, and infiltration of blood vessels into the brain. Now, Maejima and others are starting to home in on the epigenetic mechanisms that drive the neurological changes brought on by physical activity.”

Laziness Does Not Exist,” Devon Price

“I’m a social psychologist, so I’m interested primarily in the situational and contextual factors that drive human behavior. When you’re seeking to predict or explain a person’s actions, looking at the social norms, and the person’s context, is usually a pretty safe bet. Situational constraints typically predict behavior far better than personality, intelligence, or other individual-level traits.

So when I see a student failing to complete assignments, missing deadlines, or not delivering results in other aspects of their life, I’m moved to ask: what are the situational factors holding this student back? What needs are currently not being met? And, when it comes to behavioral “laziness”, I’m especially moved to ask: what are the barriers to action that I can’t see?”

No More ‘Struggle Porn,’” Nat Eliason

“Entrepreneurs devour this message like doughnuts at a WeWork because most of them are failing. I think Vaynerchuk would want them to hear “If I work hard at the right thing I can succeed,” but the message is easily misinterpreted as “if I’m struggling, I’m doing the right thing.”

I call this “struggle porn”: a masochistic obsession with pushing yourself harder, listening to people tell you to work harder, and broadcasting how hard you’re working.

Current Events

Why Did Fans Flee LiveJournal, and Where Will They Go After Tumblr?“, Heather Schwedel, Slate

“For as long as there’s been an internet, fans have used it to connect with like-minded fans, first through fledgling services like Usenet and email lists, and more recently, on sites like Tumblr and the fan fiction hub Archive of Our Own. … So how do they know when it’s time to vacate one platform and decamp for a new one? Earlier this month, Casey Fiesler, an information science professor at the University of Colorado–Boulder (and Slate contributor), posted her initial findings from a survey she conducted on the popularity of different fan platforms over time. Fiesler, who is working with graduate student Brianna Dym to synthesize the data for an academic paper, spoke to Slate about fandom migration patterns, whether anybody still uses LiveJournal, and where fans might be going next. ”

Do Not Let Tumblr Frame Their Adult Content Ban as ‘Positive,’” Miri, Brute Reason

“The disingenuity of Tumblr’s statement starts very early on, when they describe their position on posting child porn: “Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community.”

That’s nice, but if you don’t want this policy change to be “confused” with banning child pornography, you might try not instituting it in response to getting criticized for allowing child pornography.”

Gifting Holiday Joy

The 100 Best Pens, As Tested By Strategist Editors,” Karen Ioria Adelson and Lauren Ro, The Strategist

“We consulted a panel of experts, picked through personal favorites, and mined our own pen coverage to determine the top contenders. Then we called in and tested dozens upon dozens of gels, rollerballs, felt-tips, ballpoints, and fountain pens, and put them to the test. The resulting list is a ranking of the top 100 pens, according to Strategist editors and writers.

One note: A lot of what makes one pen better than another is completely subjective.”

Should You Write Your First Draft By Hand?

We’re in a love-hate relationship with handwriting. Some studies claim that writing by hand makes us smarter than keyboarding; others insist that while handwriting remains a relevant skill in general, teaching cursive handwriting has become a waste of students’ time. Still others think handwriting is already obsolete.

Writers are split as well. Some insist that writing by hand is a waste of time, particularly in a world where easy connectivity means you can type or tap out any note at any time and have it instantly stored in a centralized (typically, cloud-based) location. Others, like me, say that you can pry my pen from my cold dead hands.

I write all my fiction first drafts by hand. Here’s why.

Leave The Office ASAP

Writing is Personal

There’s no consensus as to who first penned (pun intended) the image of writing as “sitting down and bleeding,” but that image keeps being invoked because it’s so illustrative of the process.

Fiction writing is intensely personal. Its intimacy can intimidate beginners into never starting, and it can stall veterans who decide to open a vein rather than simply write to deadline.

Since I also make my living by writing copy, sitting at the computer feels public to me. I draft most of the work I do for clients on the computer; when I’m sitting at it, I’m in People Mode, even when there’s no one else in my house. People Mode is necessary in order for me to occupy the same space as my audience, which I have to do in order to ensure I’m writing a piece that will make sense to them.

I cannot, however, both write fiction and be in People Mode. I can edit that way, but forming ideas into words is, for me, incompatible with performative extroversion.

In my notebook, I’m free to write the worst crap in the world. I can fill five pages with crappy false starts. I can doodle until I figure out what I came to say. None of it matters, since nobody but me will ever see it. I’m alone with my thoughts, which is exactly where I need to be in order to tell a story.

Handwriting is More Secure

Sure, I can’t password-protect a notebook. But I’ve never lost a notebook because I failed to hit “save” or had one eaten by the Blue Screen of Death.

I lost my first round of typed fiction drafts in 1998, when my mother’s Gateway 2000 crashed. I lost another round, including two full and three partial novel drafts, in 2004 when my then-boyfriend botched a backup job.

Even files I haven’t technically lost, I’ve lost due to advances in technology and/or the degradation of digital media. I have zip disks from the late 1990s with my work stored on them, but neither I nor anyone I know owns a zip drive any longer. The floppy disks containing my earliest work, from the late 1980s, are probably corrupt – even if I had an Apple IIGS that could read them.

My notebooks from the 1980s, however, are still entirely readable. Embarrassing, but readable.

The problem with preserving digital works and the degradation of media hasn’t pinged only my radar, either. Check out, for example, the 2015 art project that printed 106 volumes of Wikipedia in English – of nearly 7,500 total volumes.

Speaking of Wikipedia….

Ever hop online to check just one little thing, and suddenly you have 83 tabs open, are reading about the social life of aardvarks, and it’s Tuesday?

Falling down the Wikipedia rabbit hole is really easy to do, and it’s even easier when you have ADHD. But I can’t fall down the research hole or get wrapped up in a social media argument when I don’t have access to the Internet.

The notebook prevents me from getting sidetracked by the Intertubes. It removes the quick-hit solution to intermittent boredom. And since boredom appears to be essential to creativity, it may also make me a better writer.

I’m Old

I also like the notebook for deeply personal, even idiosyncratic reasons.

For instance, writing by hand angers my arthritis far less than typing on my phone. I like being in less pain.

I also like notebooks because they’re an old habit: I grew up at a time in which computers weren’t a standard household object. My dad bought an Apple IIGS not long after they hit the market, but he was very much in the minority (even my school hadn’t sprung for the IIGS, preferring to stick with the IIe when anybody used a computer at all). My mother was gifted a Commodore 64, but it had no word-processing program.

My computer time was limited until I was in high school, but I was allowed to have all the notebooks and writing utensils I wanted. Today, when I think, “I want to write,” my brain spits out images of notebooks, not of my laptop, tablet or phone.

…And I Used to Be a Smug Little Snot

I also (major confession time) used to love being smug. Loved it. I was one of those college kids who carried around a Moleskine and said “I’m writing a novel” with just the right elitist inflection.

Notebooks let you be smug in a way laptops simply don’t. Look around your local coffee shop: Chances are you’ll see half a dozen people on laptops or tablets. What are they doing? Are they writing, checking Facebook, making dinosaur porn?

There’s no way to know. Everybody buried in a device looks exactly the same, which is how we get endless smug Boomer memes about phone use instead of acknowledging that half the people on their phones in public at any given time are probably doing some kind of business, especially in a world where people think that just because you can answer the phone any moment of the day or night means you should.

But write in a notebook, and everybody knows you are writing. More importantly, everyone knows you are serious about your art. Otherwise you’d bang it out on a keyboard like a Philistine.

(Philistines had keyboards, right? I’m pretty sure they had keyboards.)

Smugness lost its appeal right around the end of my sophomore year of college. That’s when I realized I was filling a Moleskine every month, and that my habit of carrying it everywhere was making it look…no longer smug. Plus my favorite pens are Pilot V5s, which are not smug.

Besides, I almost never write in coffee shops.

Notebook vs. Laptop: Which Should You Use?

Honestly? I don’t know. I’m not you.

Some folks struggle with handwriting for various reasons, or can’t do it at all, making the keyboard their only realistic choice for writing in a manner that can even begin to keep up with their brains. The ability to store things in the cloud is great if you’re constantly losing your notes. And someone, somewhere, probably possesses the self-restraint (or the Internet restriction apps) to write without getting sidetracked by Instagram.

The best method for writing is the one that lets you finish. Everything else is window dressing.

Study: 1 in 40 Autistic People Surprised You’re Surprised That 1 in 40 People are Autistic

A study announcing that the autism rate among children has risen to 1 in 40, higher than the 1 in 58 previously estimated by the CDC, is making headlines. Despite the fact that the study authors themselves admitted they were not surprised (a South Korean study put the number at 1 in 38), we’re seeing the usual uptick in “crisis” rhetoric, along with the usual new spate of bizarre woo-based memes.

fancy-chicken-close-up
Chicken Little.

Since leaving activism several months ago, I’ve scarcely kept up with autism news and I’ve commented on autism-related subjects even less. This one, however, stands out to me because of its parallels with a Quora A2A I received a few days ago: “Have you ever shared a bathroom with a transwoman [sic] and what happened?”

The answer to this question is, of course, “I have been in a public bathroom with a trans person before and so have you, and neither of us probably realized it at the time.” Trans people make up 0.6 to 1 percent of the U.S. population, after all. That’s about two million people. Evenly divided by state (which the population overall is not, so neither are trans people), that’s 40,000 trans people per state, or an entire Big Ten university.

The response to the Chicken Littles scurrying in response to the study results is the same: “Autistic people have always made up about 2.5 percent of the population, you just didn’t realize it before now.” That’s about 8 million autistic people, or about 160,000 per state – a midsize metropolitan area.

Natural redheads, incidentally, also make up about 2 percent of the U.S. population. Have you met more than one natural redhead in your life? Statistically, you’ve met that many autistic people as well.

Of course, this answer seems to placate no one. In fact, it most often appears to entrench the speaker further in their anxiety that Things Are Getting Worse All The Time.

Granted, “things have actually been as bad as you think for a while now” isn’t exactly comfort food. For someone whose anxiety is driven by a sense of lost control, “it’s been out of control” doesn’t help and can actually make the anxiety worse.

And questions like “why are all the kids turning autistic?!” or “are there trans people in our bathrooms?!” are very much about a sense of lost control. Autistic people and trans people are seen as threats because of their status as Other. When more of those scary Others start to pop up, many people experience a sense of disturbance to their internal order, their sense of how things should be: Men are men, women are women, everyone communicates in a certain way, and all is right with the world.

Reminders that the world has never actually been that way aren’t great. In fact, they’re kinda horrible.

Of course, not everyone reacts to new information in this fashion. Research indicates that our brains can be structured in ways that correlate with our willingness to embrace difference (and with our political views). The concept of fixed vs. growth mindset explores similar differences from another angle.

For the less-fixed types, “Autistic/trans folks have always been in your life” actually can be comforting. Oh, the world isn’t changing at all; it’s always been like this, and I’ve done just fine so far. For those more comfortable with embracing ambiguity and difference, this statement may even be delivered with an edge of annoyance: We’re here, we’re (neuro)queer, please get used to it so we can stop teaching 101-level classes about how we do in fact exist.

But how do we get past the Chickens Little, for whom “hey, we’ve always been here” is a reason to avoid the 101 classroom instead of entering it? I don’t know. I just know that a lot of our modern anxieties aren’t as diverse as we think.